Fuck Monday, right Garfield? We agree. Here are ten songs that we think will help you get the week started off to its ass-kicking best. As always, these songs were picked by random people using a dry erase board in our kitchen. We recommend these tunes be listened to while enjoying a large cup of damn fine coffee, and hot too. We prefer Courier Coffee roasted right here in Portland, Oregon. But, feel free to subsitute your local brew if you're not as lucky. So, the next time you're dreading having to get up to go to work and see that stupid shit of a boss that you have to sell your fucking soul to for an hourly wage in order for this house-of-cards consumer hell we've made for ourselves here in America to continue, crank up the volume on the tracks below and maybe you won't feel like setting the whole damn building ablaze.
1) “You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire” by Queens of the Stone Age
It is a scientific fact that a person can fight a full-grown lion while listening to this song. Fact! Another fact is that the original Queens of the Stone Age song features bassist and singer Nick Oliveri, who also played in the Dwarves. Josh Homme of QOTSA once assulated Dwarves frontman Blag Dahlia and was placed on probation. Oliveri is not in QOTSA anymore, but he still perfoms the songs solo-style. Homme also still plays the song with QOSTA. Neither are as good. Fact!
2) “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath
Black Sabbath used to be so fucking awesome. Like the creepy little brother of American 1960's rock and roll who started taking acid at way too young of an age and subsequently grew up to be kinds fucked-up in a way that was cool and slightly scary. It's really too bad the whole knuckle-dragging metal-head fan stereotype got attached to them like some sort of godfathers of Metallica.
3) “Ex Lion Tamer” by Wire
This song is so good it would still rock if a middle school band covered it for their parents, which is the only live footage I could find on YouTube of this song, which is why there's a music video here instead. Hey, at least it has boobs.
4) “7 and 7 Is” by Love
For those of you who smoke two joints in the morning. This is your song. Although there isn't any good live video of this song readily available, the audio alone is pretty groovy, man.
5) “Up Around The Bend” by Creedance Clearwater Revival
If you have to drive a bit for during your morning commute, a little CCR can always brighten that trip. Also, this live version of the song was recorded in Amsterdam. Bong!
6) “Bitch” by The Rolling Stones
This song is sassy as fuck. Honey Badger don't even give a shit, ya know? This video though, goddamn. It looks like Mick Jagger is going to chew off his cheeks. COCAINE!
7) “Iron Swan” by The Sword
An epic song for an epic band. This particular show at The Metro in Chicago looks to have been epic as well, bro.
8) “Bastards of Young” by The Replacements
“Bastards of Young” is probably the quinessential track of The Replacements, and it's a damn fine way to start any day, and for whatever reason, it always makes me want to listen to “A Salty Salute” by Guided By Voices. Turns out The Strokes cover that on tour. And, Against Me! covers “Bastards of Young” sometimes. Neither are as good as the originals. Fact!
9) “The Ruler's Back” by Jay-Z
This song is one of the best produced tracks Jay-Z has ever released, and the opening to the album that would solidify him as the king of New York hip-hop after several hit-singles on lesser full-length efforts. The success of The Blueprint is even more surprising considering its release date – Sept. 11, 2001.
10) “This Year” by The Mountain Goats
Less boisterious than the other songs on this list, “This Year” is one of the most sturring modern acoustic anthems. The live video from the Bowery Ballrom features Craig Finn of The Hold Steady, who looks like he's having the time of this life getting to sing with The Mountain Goats on this song.
That's it for this Top 10. Check back soon for our recommendations for how to beat the crippling Portland rainy-season depression. Oh, and sorry for the photo. I think I was in a hurry, or drunk, or something. You'll notice the third song on this list is difficult to read, so I removed it and moved all the others in the line up one spot. I can do that.
If you have favorite songs that get your week started, leave them in the comment section below, or on our Facebook page, and see if random strangers will mock you for your musical preferences. It'll be fun!
The top photo, taken by Aaron Colter, is of a Too Much Coffee Man painting on the side of the Hawthorne Theater that was done by the series creator, and local cartoonist, Shannon Wheeler. Sorry for the quality, first-gen iPhones are not proper photography devices.